Dear Ms. Jackson: 


The court appointed me to represent Mr. David Ramsey regarding charges of Felony Larceny. According to the warrant, Mr. Ramsey and his co-defendants are alleged to have taken metal from a cell phone tower. At first glance, this appears to be a theft. However, when we delve a little deeper into this matter, these men were committing less of a crime and more of a public service. Upon reading the poem below, I believe you will agree. 


Cell phone towers are ugly, you see.
They stand so tall and ominously.
They rise to great heights where few things can go;
Leering and sneering at all down below.

“We must put a stop to them.” Four men agreed.
So they set forth their minds on completing the deed.
But the towers were giants and all made of steel;
What could the men do to make their goal real?

“Perhaps deconstruct them.” One man theorized 
“Do as much as we can from sundown to sunrise.”
So off to the tower they went to attack;
They came fully loaded, no tool did they lack.

They assaulted the tower with all of their might,
Banging and clanging all through the night. 
They hammered and sawed, unscrewed and unbolted;
But the tower remained, unharmed and unjolted.

As morning approached, they noticed their progress;
They had accomplished so little, but had made a great mess.
Metal lay strewn all over the place,
And they realized their plan had met with disgrace.

They paused for a second, admitting defeat;
And returned to the truck where they all took a seat.
Despite all their efforts, the tower still stood.
Their work and their effort had wielded no good.

They sat and they pondered a few minutes more,
As they noticed the metal that lay on the floor.
It was valuable stuff and could be sold for some money;
They couldn’t just leave it, that wouldn’t be funny.

So they decided together what fee they would levy,
And loaded the steel into the bed of the Chevy.
A crime it was called; a wrongful taking of booty.
No, no, I dare say, this was their civic duty!


You see, these men never intended to commit a felony. They were only trying to perform a public service. Why don’t we just forget the whole thing?

Yours very truly,