I am writing you on behalf of Cameron Parker, who currently is charged with Possession of Marijuana Drug Paraphernalia in juvenile court. As I mentioned previously, we have an explanation for the drug paraphernalia which I contend exonerates my client. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking: “Here comes the ole ‘It’s not my grinder’ story.” Well, you’re right. That is our story. However, don’t let the frequent utilization of this defense adversely impact your objectivity. Rather, I would ask that you form your opinion after reading my client’s account of the facts. You see, this all started when my client’s older brother returned home from his sophomore year of college. Like most college students, he owns a back pack. However, because he plays on the football team, he was provided a back pack which only those on the team possessed. It even displayed his last name and number.

As you might imagine, Cameron Parker idolizes his older brother and also hopes to play college football. Currently, Cameron plays football for Mt. Holly Middle School. He’s quite good from what I am told. When his brother returned home from college, Cameron asked if he could take the back pack to school for a few days. His brother agreed. Unbeknownst to Cameron, his brother’s roommate had also borrowed the bag and failed to retrieve his marijuana grinder which he had tucked safely away into one of the back pack’s many pockets. Oblivious to all of this, Cameron attends school as normal, places the back pack into his locker and goes about his business. Meanwhile, Gaston County resource officers and their drug dog conducted a sweep of the student lockers. The dog stopped at Cameron’s locker, which the police subsequently searched and found the marijuana grinder. Cameron was taken to the principal’s office and questioned about the grinder. Although I’m not sure what all transpired during this questioning, I do know that Cameron denied ownership and knowledge of the grinder. I assume the police and school administrators have heard that story one too many times because they charged Cameron with Possession of Drug Paraphernalia.

Initially, I have some questions about this grinder. Well, not particularly about this specific grinder, but rather about grinders in general. Why does one need a marijuana grinder? Is it a volume issue? I guess one may have an amount of weed too great to break up by hand. As such, they need a tool to accomplish the job more quickly and easily. Or, is having a grinder now the “in” thing for marijuana users? Has the marijuana revolution risen to such heights as to give rise to pot snobs? I can envision it now. Some guy in a smoking jacket with a William F. Buckley accent declaring, “Only the commoner grinds his marijuana by hand. People of class use a grinder, as etiquette dictates.” I’m looking for Emily Post to address this issue shortly.

Whatever the reason for the grinder, it did not belong to Cameron. Cameron’s brother did call his college roommate after the incident and was quite upset. His roommate took the bashing well and responded by saying, “Dude, I’m so sorry. Tell little dude I forgot it was in there. I’ll make it up to him.” Evidently, the roommate had acquired a new grinder, because I’m told he sounded high as a kite.

Fortunately, Cameron’s father is a retired detective with the Gaston County Police and knew how to get to the bottom of this quickly. He immediately took Cameron to a drug screen facility where Cameron tested negative for all controlled substances. I will provide you with those screen results when I obtain them. Because of the results of that drug test, I believe the school reduced his mandatory suspension from 10 days to 5 days. While I understand school protocol, I can’t help but think that this case should be dismissed. Otherwise, we risk subjecting this young man to a different kind of grinder – juvenile court

I thank you for your attention to this matter and look forward to hearing from you soon.